Be Playful

Posts Tagged ‘calling

thoughtful
Photo by thp365.

I have recently been wondering what to do with my life.  My university degree has come to an end, and I am at a juncture.  I must make a decision about my new direction.  It is a place of boundless possibilities and opportunities.

There are so many things that I could do, places I could go, dreams I could follow.  And so what do I do?  I do nothing. I am paralysed by choice, by the fear to begin.  Faced by an empty canvas I dare not draw my first line in case it is wrong.

I am scared of failure.

I know my dreams, yet I have been failing to live up to them.  They seem too distant for me to begin making them a reality now, to take those first few steps in the right direction.

And yet, there is poetry in my soul, something that keeps prodding and prompting.  I listen to its words:

The aching dull pain
of the cost of your calling
that haunts you at night
and in moments of doubt.

I am realising that this post-university funk, this verging on the edge of depression, staring into the deep, dark pit of failure, is because I am refusing to face up to my calling, to my daily responsibilities and my long term dreams.

Even in this despair, I feel fortunate.  This depression that follows me everywhere, that lurks in the deepest part of my being, is a continual reminder to live up to my calling, to follow the calling of my destiny.  Though it is painful, it keeps me on track.  I wonder how many of us run from this pain, scared to look back upon it and realise all the dreams we have left to rust and fester in the dirt.

Responsibilities

praying
Photo by ReefRaff.

Many self development blogs and books highlight the importance of living your dreams.  According to these blogs, your main responsibility is to find out what your dreams are and strive to live them.

I agree that every person should take responsibility for the course of their life, that every person has a responsibility to pursue their dreams.

However, I also think that there are greater responsibilities, that each person has a number of more important callings.

Daily Responsibilities

  • Getting up early
  • Doing the dishes after dinner
  • Taking small steps towards your dreams
  • Work – earning money
  • Engaging in a spiritual practice
  • Doing something you love
  • Resting

Relationship Responsibilities

  • Keeping in touch with friends
  • Telling family members that you love them
  • Taking responsibility for the well-being of family and friends who are unable to care for themselves
  • Quality time with loved ones

World Responsibilities

  • Working for social justice
  • Praying for change
  • Ensuring you are not complicit in injustice
  • Random acts of kindness

Dream Responsibilities

  • Knowing your dreams and goals
  • Breaking your dreams down into short term goals
  • Doing something each day to make your dreams a reality

Some responsibilities will take priority over others.  Personally, I place relationship responsibilities first, followed by world responsibilities, then daily responsibilities, and lastly dream responsibilities.  To put it slightly differently, I allow my relationships with family and friends and my commitment to a better world shape the direction of my dreams.  So, for example, I choose not to fly when travelling, but instead to take the train or cycle to visit somewhere local.

Your Thoughts

What responsibilities do you place first in your life?

Have you ever run from your calling?  How did it haunt you?  Are you still running?

Please share you thoughts in the comments section below.


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